The craft of authenticity
Leadership 'how-to' books and courses often emphasize the importance of being ‘authentic’ if we are to build trust in our followers.
What exactly is ‘authenticity’? It has two essential elements:
Knowing your own mind. You should be ‘true to your self’.
Accurately projecting that self so others see it. The self you project to others should be the same as the self you feel inside.
Most people I know are good at being authentic when with close friends or family—the people that know them best, with whom they are relaxed, and who will call them out if they are hiding something. With those people there is a consistent way of being over time.
But this kind of authenticity is equally important if we want to lead people who are not close enough to us to know us well. It is essential in building trust. Matching who you are and feel in a given moment, with what you outwardly show, is an ability we often lose when growing up. Social convention requires us to be able to mask our inner feelings, at least part of the time. As a result, many of us forget how to show feelings. It takes awareness and technique to recover this ability for moments when we want to use it. To be authentic:
First, our heart should be fully in the job, with a clear intention. We need sufficient self-knowledge to know and master what may be getting in the way of our whole-hearted participation (fear, pain, anger, resentment, sadness, regret, shame…). If our mind is even partially elsewhere, others will sense that. It helps to acknowledge doubts explicitly. We should be fully occupied by the process of how to achieve our intention.
Second, we need sufficient skill in self-use that we accurately reflect our intention. Not just in our mind and our words but also in our body and voice. We want to unmask how we feel. If unmasking is not our habit, this is something that is worth paying attention to and practicing.
The desired state is that we know what we intend, know our possibilities and limits, and are clear and unembarrassed about them. Intention without self-knowledge is not authentic. It leads to over- or under-confidence, over-or under-focus, and poor execution. Only when we know how we do what we do, can we carry out what we want with precision and efficiency.
How do you match feelings and actions? What have you found challenging about it? Please leave a comment.