The inner dialogue

What conversation do you have with your self? What is it about? And what is the tone of voice? Are you kind to your self? Is it a loving conversation?

As self-aware beings we observe ourselves on three levels, asking our self questions as we go about our actions:

• Function: what parts of me am I engaging in performing this action? Can I bring other parts into it? What would make this action easier for me? What would make this action more effective?

• Feelings: how does what I am doing make me feel? Do I have pain / discomfort / fatigue / frustration / pleasure / joy / confidence / fun / … ? What can I do to increase my pleasure in this action?

• Arc-of-life: how am I different in performing this action today than at other times in my life? Am I doing what I do out of choice, or do I feel compelled? If I am feeling compelled, why is that, what am I afraid of? How does performing this action today fit into the arc of my life story?

These questions, and the answers we give our self, form an important dialogue. It is the basis of knowing our self. It enables us to be fully present in our actions. The way we address our self, our tone of voice, is equally important. It determines how we relate to our self. Are we gentle, caring, loving? Or are we harsh, judgmental, dismissive?

If, like me, your tendency is to be harsh on your self, then practicing being gentle with your self is a powerful experience which brings hope and relief.

Being more effective in life – using our self better in whatever actions we choose to take – begins with a loving internal dialogue. That does not mean being blind to challenges or ignoring fears. It means acknowledging those things and finding ways to be more present in life.

How is your inner dialogue? How has body-mind learning helped you change it? Please leave a comment.